I love this...


The daily Stockholm newspaper Dagens Nyheter's Oct 14 2008 edition concluded that Stan Getz was partly to blame for the financial crisis now plaguing the world.

The reason: an article in the New York Times called "Taking a hard new look at a Greenspan legacy", based on a Jim Lehrer interview with Alan Greenspan.

ALAN GREENSPAN: Then, I decided that baseball was my thing. And I was actually getting very good, but at the age of 14, I hit a plateau and I never improved.

JIM LEHRER: You were a left-hander, first baseman, right?

ALAN GREENSPAN: I was a left-handed first baseman. I hit the ball pretty well. Then, I got into music, and I became a professional musician for a couple of years.

JIM LEHRER: Played the clarinet...

ALAN GREENSPAN: Clarinet, saxophone, flute, bass clarinet.

JIM LEHRER: Which one did you enjoy the most?

ALAN GREENSPAN: I actually enjoyed the clarinet the best, but I was a fairly good amateur, but a moderate professional. But what really did me in is I when, as an amateur, I had to play next to Stan Getz. I was 16; he was 15. I decided, "Do I really want to be in this business?"

JIM LEHRER: Why, because he was so good?

ALAN GREENSPAN: Oh, my god!

JIM LEHRER: Was he really good?

ALAN GREENSPAN: He was one of the really historic famous sax players. And the best economic decision I ever made in my life was to decide to leave the music business and go into economics.

Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards.

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beautiful
bird feeder it was. I filled it lovingly with seed and within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table, everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I was the one providing their free food. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I kept it filled. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank speak with me in English, and people waving other countries´ flags are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not continue cleaning up the poop!

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.

You could have heard a pin drop.

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck... We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

You could have heard a pin drop.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained.
"Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."

You could have heard a pin drop.